Too much of even a good thing (known as "surfeit") can become a liability. The excess of good usually has the best intentions behind it but ultimately results in unexpected consequences that can have negative effects. That's the point of this assignment and the accompanying article.
Read the article (link below) about the need for resilience and how the prevailing parenting style of the last twenty years has affected young American's resilience and preparation for life.
You all are on the cusp of the affected age group, but please don't think I'm giving this to you because I think you lack resilience or that your parents have done something wrong! That's not it at all! But, you're making the transition out into the "real" world very soon, and you all will likely be parents one day. It's important to look honestly at the good and the bad of our past societal choices so YOU can make improvements toward finding the essential balance for the next generation.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/Mickey-goodman/are-we-raising-a-generati_b_1249706.html
For the your response, simply write a strong paragraph sharing your thoughts stemming from the article. You don't have to agree or disagree, but reading it should stimulate some thoughts so share them.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
☺ Mr. R
From my perspective, I feel as if the article displays the main reason of failure very clearly; we are making kids feel special when they should understand that they've failed. Within sports and school awarding kids just for being present and putting effort inserts kids into their own bubble. Moreover, kids begin to feel as if their work will be perfect no matter what they do in school and their performance in the athletic environment. Ultimately this article in my view also shows the change that is need in order to progress our generation or else were going to remain fragile.
ReplyDeleteIt hurts but i completely agree with this article. Thinking back on it now, there are a lot of "spoiled" children out there. There are youtube videos of kids having meltdowns because a video game or toy got taken away. That is simply not acceptable. Today's kids won't go anywhere with that kind of attitude. In my opinion, my parents raised me right, being both strict when they need to but giving me the freedom to learn from my mistakes. I'm not saying me or my family is better than everyone or anything like that. I'm just saying that different ways of making your child "feel special" have to be used. Giving someone everything is setting them up for disaster in the future. When I'm a dad of course I want to make my children happy, but there is a line somewhere. It is a line I hope to never cross when I am a father.
ReplyDeleteThe article makes me realize how important it is for children to experience failure in their younger years before entering the "real world." Although younger children are often times more sensitive, through moderate exposure to failure and their parents support when these children encounter failure, they will build a strong coat and adjust themselves to the consequences of society. Many children rely on their parents to argue their way and lead them to perfection; however, once these children grow up and are on their own, they will encounter difficulties when attempting to succeed while dealing with failure as well. Ultimately, the example of the girl who got a C- and wanted her mother to argue her way into a higher grade exemplifies the lack of failure she encountered in her younger years. Additionally, this example proves why it is important for children to indpendently receive the grades thy deserve rather than having their parents do the work for them.
ReplyDeleteI think this article was very interesting because I never realized how the little things affect us in the big picture of life. We are all so used to our iphones and ipads doing things right away for us when really it takes away our patience and attention spans. Parents are trying so hard to protect their children, that to a certain extent, children rely on their parents for any conflict. Children are rewarded for everything they don’t do bad, which just makes then more likely to repeat their bad behavior and then receive a reward when they don’t behave badly. Kids who are told they are special for doing nothing extraordinary believe that they deserve special treatment because they assume that they don’t have to do anything to be special. Parents make their children’s happiness their central goal, so now it is difficult for children to find happiness. One of the many solutions is that kids need to fail at an early age rather than when they are all grown up. If they can fail when they are young, they can succeed when they are adults. When kids they fail they need to accept the consequences.
ReplyDeleteI agree with this article, that kids need to realize that failure is an acceptable and often times crucial step in the process to achieve success. These frustrating downfalls are when people learn from their mistakes and try to improve and not make the same error in the future. Without failure and shortcomings and then learning from these past mistakes, there can be no progress. We are so consumed by the notion that we should get what we want when we want it. This idea of "instant gratification" hinders our ability to endure strenuous work and hinders our ability to soldier through all the toils of life. Some of the most successful people in the world did not merely raise to their elevated status in a matter of months, but worked for years and suffered many losses to get where they are today. We have to stop taking what we have for granted; we have realize that one day our parents will not support us and that we will have to take care of ourselves; we have to become more independent and self-reliant; and most of all, we have to embrace failure as a stepping stone toward success.
ReplyDeleteIt is obviously understandable that kids do not want to fail at anything, whether it is in sports or academics. Although at the same time, some parents put their children on a pedestal that is simply not achievable for that particular child. I very much agreed with the "dream big" concept. Obviously not every kid will be a famous actor, singer, athlete therefore parents need to start telling them to think about some realistic dreams. Some kids will never understand what it is like to fail, and that will really open their eyes when they enter the "real world. The one thing i disagree with is the happiness concept. I think it is okay to spoil kids in certain situations. All parents just want to give their child a happy life and I don't think it is an issue to spoil them every now and then. I think it's disturbing how certain kids end up but it is not always their parents fault. Some kids need to share that responsibility with their parents.
ReplyDeleteAlthough coddling and encouraging kids that anything is possible, obviously this is not the case all the time. I totally agree with the notion that adolescents should be self motivated and should work hard and earn the things they get I do still think that we should be able to rely on those who influence is most when it's appropriate. If my mom called my teacher to change a grade (which she NEVER would) I would be mortified to say the least but also appreciative that she has my back and ultimately my best interest at heart. I understand not wanting to fail and that success is always on ones mind, but in the end I feel the drive to succeed should come from you and not any other external forces motivating you to do so.
ReplyDeleteI agree with this article. Our parents always say how they have learned from their mistakes when they were growing up and how it has helped them to become a more responsible and cautious person with stronger character and morals. If today's parents don't allow their kids to make mistakes then they will never learn from them and how to act in real world situations. Kids need to be taught to take responsibility for their own actions. I agree with Leah, if my mom were to call a teacher to change a grade I would be so embarrassed. I think that their is a very important balance between teaching your kids to be independent as well as keeping their best interest and safety in mind.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with this article. Many children do not realize how privileged they are and how easy they have it. Especially kids at expensive private schools like Buckley, we are always supported by our parents. Parents always want their children to succeed in life and will be willing to do anything to make that happen. However, when they help us at such a young age, we'll always expect ourselves to succeed in the future and that will not be the case at all. At Buckley, we are very sheltered and almost live in a bubble. There are so many students here who are like the girl who got a C-, the type to call their parents crying and ask them to complain. They make it seem like it's their largest problem in life; however, if they think that's the biggest problem in life, they are in for a ride when they enter the "real world". Also, we were fortunate, and in some cases unfortunate, to grow up in the age of technology. We now have all the answers to pretty much every question at our fingertips. Because we have the ability to google everything, we don't feel the need to memorize or learn anything. We need to learn how to take responsibility of our actions and learn that we can't just call our parents if something does not go our way because later in life that will not be okay. We really are the generation that has grown up off of instant gratification.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, this article absolutely explains the effects of parents being over protective of their kids, especially in our generation. If parents continue to cushion their children from the real world when they are young, they will never be able to deal with the hardships and disappointments of life. I think its better for a younger person to deal with let downs rather than an older person who has never dealt with not getting what they want. The children of our generation need to understand that life is not the easiest thing, and you have to work to achieve your goals. I think that especially at Buckley where it is such a small, gaurded environment that people do not realize the true difficulties of life, and making a living. I agree with this article because I feel that parents take a huge part in the attitude of these kids. I feel that parents should stop being so protective of their kids and allow them to live their life and understand how hard it can be while their young, so they know what to expect when they get older.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I understand a parents desire to protect and shield their children from the less than perfect aspects of life, I also believe there is a need to fail and be able to be ok on your own. Many children are being raised to believe they are perfect, and that they are the exception to life’s many rules. However not allowing your child to fail, or miss a deadline, or have to live with a school rule or family rule is not helping them. The ability to be ok and learn to do better on ones own from a young start is so important because you don’t want your child to be the 30 year old who is still attempting to bend the rules and make excuses for things that they should have been responsible for. Reading this article made me realize that yes, sometimes I have not taken responsibility for my actions, or after getting in a fight with my sister I turn to my mom to get her in trouble when in reality it is my responsibility to go and make it ok. I understand a parents love for a their child is powerful and something you only comprehend when you have children of your own, however having friends and sometimes realizing it in myself, there is nothing worse than needing to go and have your parents involved in stuff you should be doing on your own, or spoiling you so much that you have no understanding of how the real world is like. The ability to look to your parents for the truth and someone to ground you back to reality is something far more valuable than a parent who is always cheering you on when you don’t deserve it and making your bad actions acceptable.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very biased, one-sided article that is, frankly, offensive to me as a direct product of "Gen Y." The named college freshman who essentially threw a tantrum over her first C-, I believe is not an accurate representation of my generation, or me. Every A+ AP student that I personally know works very hard to earn his/her grades. Why is failure not an acceptable part of their lives? Because they do not let it be. They know the competition out there in the "real world," and they (apparently contrary to popular belief) do everything they know that they can in order to ensure their most successful futures. But they, as do I, know that working their butts off does not necessarily mean they will even be accepted to Harvard; moreover, they also know that graduating from Harvard does not necessarily guarantee the "best" job. They prepare themselves to accept failure. I believe that we live in a generation of empowered, smart, and innovative leaders that's step up to every challenge in in a forward-thinking way. Regarding the increased number of clinically-depressed teens and young adults: psychological medicine has clearly made huge improvements since 1984. I believe that the parents bearing children between '84 and '02 are a product of the traumas caused by poorly-proven and appalling psychological and psychiatric practices which they, therefore, believed needed to be changed and addressed. Why are more children deemed clinically depressed, have ADD/ADHD, are diagnosed with Aspergers and deemed "special needs"? Because psychiatric medicine realizes that relieving a small and detectable chemical imbalance in the brain with easily-accessible medications and therapy can allow a child to reach his/her full potential. Regarding an obsession with child safety: there really does appear to be more to worry about in our day and age. When information is ready at any parent's fingertips, he/she becomes aware of world dangers that are usually hidden behind closed doors. When a 7th grader (and all his/her classmates) has an iPhone and spends time texting, why wouldn't a parent be curious to know about what he/she is texting? Well the parent can: each conversation is saved in a virtually-uneraseable digital database. But isn't reding a child's text messages as invasive as eavesdropping on his/her private face-to-face conversations? So is ignorance bliss? And is ignorance and dismissal the reason that our older generation appears tougher, but is really not? And is our (and our parents') availability to information, specifically, the reason for this madness? Rhetorical questions.
ReplyDeleteIt is true that no child wants to fail and no parent wants to see their child fail, but it is also true that failure is necessary in the growth and maturation of a child. No matter how young, failure is essential to life. It starts from a very young age, even at birth, when a baby is hungry, it is fed right away. When a baby drops a toy, it is picked up right away. When the baby wants to be picked, it throws a temper tantrum and the mother solves the baby's needs by picking it up right away. Although understandably because no mother wants to upset their newborn, it is ridiculous what some parents do to make their children happy, even when they dont deserve it. Parents need to let their kids be independent and not rely on their parents for everything in life. They have to understand that by failing, it is teaching the child to be stronger and work, that much harder next time. By not providing a next time, parents are depriving their children of that learning experience. Mothers need to let their child fail so that next time, they make no mistake. They keep in mind the horrible feeling they felt when they failed and make sure it doesn't happen again. By raising test scores, averaging classes, bribing teachers, and much more, parents are actually hurting their child's future, rather than helping them. I agree with this article in that where do we cross the line. When is this help too much?
ReplyDeleteI agree with this article, in todays society many children grow up not knowing how to accept anything but success, and they rely on their parents for almost everything. Today if a kid plays a sport it does not matter how good or bad the kid does the kid will get a trophy for just showing up, it does not matter if they tired. Parents want their kids to feel special and not show them that they failed so they make sure they feel like they did something by getting a trophy. Also kids are raised that they always are told by their parents they are so smart and should only get A's but they get one C and they can not handle themselves and do not understand what to do because they have never got such a low grade. The children of today do not understand how to accept failure and expect to change the world right away and be a major success. So kids need to learn that failure is not the end of the world and they can bounce back and still be a success, and you do not always have to be the biggest success.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest I disagree with the article, however, I do understand where the author is coming from. But simply taking one example of a botched interview and making generalities about an entire generation? Now that's ludicrous. Unfortunately, there will always be spoiled kids. But those "kids" exist in every generation. Ironically, when I was getting off a plane today, A middle-aged women stood up in front of me and began to give me a speech on "how I wasn't that important, and needed to wait for others who also wanted to get off the plane". I was shocked as I was not racing out of the plane, and intended to let her go in the first place. I simply politely apologized for offending her, and then walked off. Then an elderly women began to give me the same speech in the terminal. Now this reminded me of one thing: Older, DOES NOT mean wiser. There are mean people in all generations, but it is unfair to label millions of people based on the actions of two. In reference to the article, I feel like I have been taught the moral that hard work pays off. My dad always tells me to have patience and I live by that ideal. It is heinous, as well as a false causality, to say that some poisoning suddenly created a complete shift in parenting for the next century. I would agree that parents have become more protective, but I feel this is because there are more threats in the growing urban and metropolitan areas. In total, I live by the phrase "If you never fail, then your not trying hard enough". I really don't see the issue with our generation. Every generation has to tackle different obstacles, and I think we are doing it in our own way. Do I think our generation is perfect? no. Do I think we need more leaders? absolutely. But I don't think this article explains how to do it.
ReplyDeleteI believe that the article makes many great points. Our society has adapted and almost fallen into a rut where in order to not suppress anyone's creativity or hurt kids feelings we have been doing them a disfavor by installing the idea that all effort is good and we should be acknowledged and rewarded for everything we do. That simply isn't true because sometimes your best can't be good enough and you need to learn to accept failure as much as you need to learn success. Our society is growing into one that does not prepare kids for failure in life but creates a bubble for them where everyone is successfull at everything. I believe it is the parents job to encourage their kids to do everything they want and always try their hardest but also to understand when they weren't the best or didn't quite succeed.
ReplyDeleteI agree with this article and do believe that in today’s society although parents raise their children always wanting to provide the best for them, the best doesn't always mean winning. A parent’s job is to introduce their child to all aspects of life, which includes the good, and especially the bad. Although losing may be considered horrible to some, I believe that losing is truly a blessing. Through the shame of a disappointment and a loss, one learns to understand that not everything in life is fair and that you wont always get it how you want. Additionally, if a parent deprives their child from loss or disappointment, then the parent is denying their child from learning the best possible lesson; instead of allowing a loss to bring down your spirits, one must learn as soon as possible how to accept a loss and attempt to improve oneself as much as possible to try to avoid any other future failures.
ReplyDeleteI both agree and disagree with this article as it brings up extremely relatable points to the treatment of our generation today, however also highlights the over exaggerated methods of parenting in todays society. Our generation today is taught to strive for the best. Parents try and encourage their children and help them in anyway to reach goals without failure only because they want to see their kids successful. Although I agree, sometimes parents can be too overprotective and interfere with certain encounters with failure that aren't necessarily bad for a kid to experience, they only do so because they want the best for their children. It is definitely important to learn from mistakes such as not doing well on a test because you didn't study hard enough. A parent should not be calling to negotiate a better grade claiming it was their fault you were out to dinner late the night before the test since it is the students responsibility to make time for schoolwork, not your parents. If you're looking for an internship over the summer and your dream is to become a journalist and your parent has the ability to get you an amazing job at CNN, I don't see the problem with simply thanking your parent and doing your best at your dream job. Understandably, things usually aren't handed to you on a silver platter, however if a great opportunity comes and your parent is able to make it happen, it is totally fine to just accept it and thank them for helping you move one step closer to you achieving your dreams. As long as a parent understands and is be able to separate times where helping their children achieve their goals is okay and not okay, having an extra push of encouragement from the people who raised you isn't necessarily a bad thing.
ReplyDeleteI agree and somewhat disagree with this article. Most privileged kids now a days are spoiled and some don't appreciate all of the things they have, and it's good for kids to fail and mess up in life because it's builds resilience and almost forces them to try and try again which ultimately helps them in the long run because once kids get out into the real world they will most likely run into a lot of failure. But I also understand parents wanted to spoil their kids and try to give them more then they had when they were kids.
ReplyDeleteI agree with this article because I feel like it brings up a really important message. Although it's important to have parents who love you and want to do everything to protect you, it's also important that parents allow their kids to make mistakes and fail. This is important because if a kid can't learn to fail at a young age, then he/she wont be able to fail at an older age, and most importantly won't know how to deal with the act of failure. Failure leads to perfection, so if you never take a risk, even if you know you are going to fail, you can never perfect your acts. And if parents always resolve conflicts in their kids lives, then the kids will grow up relaying on their parents rather than on themselves, which actually means he/she never actually did grow up. I believe kids should actually achieve goals, or invent something unique to be called "special" because it's a reward itself without the need of gifts. And if a kid does nothing and gets complimented all the time, then that kid wont ever achieve something actually "special." Even thought I think it's very important for parents to protect their kids, I also think its important for parents to prepare their kids for what the "real" world is like.
ReplyDeleteThis article made me realize that kids around our age forget the importance of many factors of life. We feel the need to constantly be “perfect” and never fail. As high school students, especially at Buckley, most kids feel the need to demonstrate the qualities of a top student, perfect friend, star athlete, and amazing artist. We continuously find flaws in our everyday actions, decisions, and results. What we do not realize is that life is not about always being perfect, but learning from our mistakes in order to grow as individuals. Without failure and making mistakes, we have no progress and think we do not need to do anything to improve. Furthermore, when older individuals commend us for being “perfect” and demonstrating these amazing qualities, we strive to keep doing what were doing in order to keep being praised. Thus, kids at any age need to realize that in order to grow and truly be admired, they must not control every aspect of their lives but learn from their mistakes and not take everything so seriously.
ReplyDeletePersonally it is very hard for me to relate to this article. I have grown up most of my life with my parents teaching me to be independent. If I get a bad grade on a quiz or test I'm usually my hardest critic, while my parents stay positive and support me. I disagree with the article when it talks about parents always encouraging kids to "dream big." I personally am a big dreamer and that has nothing to do with what my parents told me. With out dreaming big we would not have any Steve Jobs or Kobe Bryants in the world. I think the article is trying to argue that parents are demanding kids to dream big rather then encouraging them. I do agree with many parts of this article. I think parents obsessions with there kids grades, to the degree that they argue with the professors themselves, is pretty disgusting. I think all of this makes kids more dependent on their parents, which is why many kids are falsely prepared for life. When kids finally set off to college and so on, they depend on their parents helping them through their failures, resulting in the kids not knowing how to fix their own problems.I also believe one big problem is that each child should be raised a different way. There is not one type of parenting for every kid in the world. Who knows, for some child this strict, involved parent may be ideal. I can support this by the difference between my brother and I. My brain and my brothers work so differently that if my parents raised us the same, well we would have a lot of problems,
ReplyDeleteI agree and actually relate with this article. Unfortunately, since parents are raising their kids with a false mentality, they are spoiling them for the future. Both socially and academically, (most) parents take the fall for their children if they get hurt. This creates a child who is not prepared for the future and "real world." It's so sad to see kids have so much pressure on themselves for doing poorly on a test or assessment. Personally, being grown up in a family where my siblings are 8-12 years older than me, I got the most protection as the "baby" of my parents. Being put into this bubble, I've become so much more dependent on everyone else more than I should be. Kids must be able to fail and accept it with out relying on their parents. If parents are always their to catch their kids when they fall, the kids won't be able to grow and conquer their own obstacles in life.
ReplyDeleteThis article really gave me a new perspective on the importance of failure. Before reading it, I never considered failing to be something useful and actually necessary. It is important to experience failure before entering your adult years; if you never failed, you would never be prepared for the real world. Failing, especially in kids at a young age, actually helps them build up barrier, which will then make it easier for them to accept failure as adults. Without occasionally falling short in life, people would be unprepared and extremely sensitive. As you get older, you slowly but surely lose the ability to rely on your parents for comfort and help when you fail; when you don't get a job interview or fail an exam, like shown in the example of the girl who failed her test, going to a parent for their assistance will not be an option. Therefore, failing even minor things at a younger age will help you mentally and emotionally prepare for what is to come.
ReplyDeleteMore than anything, I like the title: Balance is Key. I believe that is really important in all aspects of life. I also believe that parents do coddle their kids too much and help them find solutions to all of their problems before they even have a chance to figure things out on their own. Making kids "all winners" and "all special" is a mistake because it makes kids feel like they don't need to strive for anything above and beyond normal. I think its important for kids to hear the truth about their performance in any sport or contest or exam and get actual criticism from their teachers, parents or peers. This can help us improve, grow, and learn but instead we are sometimes crushed for not being perfect.The balance needs to be restored in our generation. The world outside of our bubble is not as forgiving and we must be prepared for the disappointment of not being perfect or the best at EVERYTHING. We need to hear criticism sometimes which is in my opinion just as important as actual praise for real accomplishments.
ReplyDeleteI have definitely witnessed parent behavior like the one described in the article, but I didn’t realize it was actually a big problem in our generation. When I was younger, I saw my friends tell their parents a story, perhaps about an argument or encounter, and their parents would automatically believe and defend the child. I always got mad when my parents didn’t believe me right away as a child because it made me feel like they didn’t trust me. But then I realized something: I am happy my parents raised me the way they did. This article made me really understand why my parents didn’t tell me I was good at everything I did, or believe any word I said: because it doesn’t benefit me. Yes, sometimes I got mad at my parents for telling me I didn’t play well in a game, even at age 6, because in the end, it made me a stronger person.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with this article and have witnessed this issue with friends; yet, I don’t believe I fully relate to this article. I have been raised very independently, especially during high school and my pursuit in archery. For example, my love and improvement of archery has been a result of my independent practices alone, since I do not have a local coach in California. Although my Dad introduced me to the sport, my parents followed my trail of love for succeeding in archery and have 100% supported me since. I don’t find them comforting me when I take a poor shot during a tournament, I’ve learned you have to understand what you did wrong in the previous shot, learn from it, and try not doing it again in the next shot. That poor mindset can effect the rest of your tournament, therefore, moving on is the best choice. Furthermore, the article brings up the importance of failure. Without failure, you are “blind” to know the realities of life. I really do believe the old saying, “People learn best from their mistakes”, because you try to avoid them again (like in archery). Like Mr. Roman said, balance is key because the parents need to let their child be independent and step in (for support or help) when time is necessary, but to find that balance may be challenging.
ReplyDeleteThis article was hard to read, but very true and real. It's definitely extreme for a parent to demand to talk to a professor after her college freshman received a C- on her first test.There are times I get a C- and yes, I do worry about my parent's reactions. But then I shake it off and remember that no one is perfect and people make mistakes. I know some parents blame everyone else for their child's misfortunes. I think parents have good intentions and genuinely want the best for their children, but need to understand that failure is apart of life. Parents are actually hurting their child's future by tinkering with test scores and bribing teachers. Also, "Gen Y" needs to realize that in order to be successful and reach your goals, we need to work.
ReplyDeleteThis article is shocking to read. I was aware of parents being over-involved with their children's life; however, this article introduced the idea of children also being more dependent on their parents to take care of their own responsibilities. I do believe that the lack of self-reliance among Generation Y is caused by the constant, instant gratification we've become accustomed to due to technology. I agree that it is important to be proud of your child; moreover, rewarding kids without accomplishment is an unhealthy subconscious habit for the child's mind. I believe that failure leads to success and understanding as you remind us in class constantly. It is logical to treat your child as a human being without excessive nurturing to allow the kid to be creative and independent.
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